dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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