Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
