I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
