Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
