Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize