i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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