i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
