i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
