Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
