I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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