one might say we're banned from that church
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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