First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I am mentally ready for anal.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
