They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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