Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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