I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize