dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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