Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
