Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
