just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
