Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
