Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
