i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Pooping to opera.
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