She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
