Plan B is the new Plan A
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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