She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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