he wants to bone in the snuggie
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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