and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
