Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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