sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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