no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
