Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
