i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
