so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
