New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
