i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i think im in europe. pls send help
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
