So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
