I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
