he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
