Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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