The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
