just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
