He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
