You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
How external is "for external use only"?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
