Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
