Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
