there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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