Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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