your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
