he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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