HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
