it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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