Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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