I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
