He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
