is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize