We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize