seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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