its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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